Failures

Well, I didn't manage to log enough miles this weekend to officially break my goal of 312 miles for the year... I actually managed to log nothing.

Which leaves me at 309.82 Miles so far for the year. So much for Hulk-Smashing my goals this weekend. :shrug:

My body seems to be in revolt. This weekend, my breathing was all sorts of messed up, and it felt like a 900lb Sumo wrestler was doing jumping jacks on my chest every time I tried to take a deep breath. It wasn't like asthma, and my asthma meds didn't seem to help the situation. I might have to ask the cardiologist about that during my appts this week.

What's more, my feet  and ankles swelled up to the size of softballs... and they were painful to walk on. The outside of my right ankle is giving me a sharp pain each time that I put weight on it. The pain in my ankle is nothing like that pain that I was having early this year in the arches of my feet.

I went to two appts today... the first was at the cardiologist to get my holter monitor  put on... 24 hours of heart monitoring... we hope that it will pick up on some of the irregular rhythms that I was having. The electrodes and the tape are already driving me batty, the wires are making me feel tangled, and don't even get me started on the monitor box. I know it is important to do this testing (particularly before my big trip), but I'm just irritated. The cardiologist office said no showers while the unit is attached, so that means no workout tonight because I wont be able to shower...

But that's somewhat OK because at the second appt (the one for my ankle), the doc ordered XRays and STAY OFF of my foot while I am waiting on the results. He thinks there might be an offhand chance that I have a hairline fracture in my ankle, but more than likely, the pain I have been having is related to achilles tendonitis. I've legitimately had that issue before, and it felt NOTHING like this ankle pain feels, but what can I do?

If its the achilles tendon, he ordered my to be off my feet for the next 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS?!?!?!

I looked at him like he had 25 heads. TWO WEEKS?!?!?!

Aint nobody got time for that. I've got training to do and races to prep for. I can barely even justify 2 days off in a row right now, and he wanted TWO WEEKS?!?!?!

I told him he was nuts and we came to a compromise right in the middle... As in, I'd agree to 4 days off with my feet up... and when I return I will take it easy. As much as I know I have to take care of my body and listen to the pain, I also know that I am still unprepared for this trip to the Center of the Nation.

I just had this discussion last night with my dear friend Brina.

She is worried that I am unprepared. She is worried that I am going to quit on her. She is worried that I will give up or peter out. I worry all those things too, but I also know that if I push too hard, it may take more than just a few weeks with my feet up to correct the problem.

I was feeling really good about my training last week... and now less than  a week later I am falling apart at the seams. I just want to succeed, but right now it is just feeling like I'm having failure after failure after failure.

I don't want to give up. I want to be well trained. I want to be prepared to give it my all.

But most importantly... right now, I want to go put my feet up. Rest is just what the Dr ordered... because right now, that point one will get me.