Thursday, June 20, 2013

Finding focus

This week, I've been down in the dumps. I've been feeling really depressed and physically ill. I haven't been keeping food down, my stomach has been in knots, my head has been pounding. I've really just been a hot mess. I've been feeling spread too thin and really uncared for. I blame nobody in particular, but I also have recognized that social media (aka facebook) has not helped to make me feel any better about myself or about life in general.

So I took a hiatus. I resigned from various organizations which were asking a bit too much of me. I deleted my facebook account, I turned off my phone, and suddenly I was able to re-focus on the important things.

Work. My husband. My dissertation. A little introspection. Logging some miles. Me. Myself. I.

My husband took a little time off of work to spend quality time with me and help me to re-focus. We turned off the TV and we talked. We ate icecream late at night, and we giggled. And when I burst into another round of uncontrollable tears, he held me until they dried up. And then he forced me to put my running shoes on and go for a short and brisk 3 mile stroll around the block.

I know that this exercise dramatically helped.

Its not perfect, but its a good enough start. I've now had that time away and a bit of time for self-reflection, and I have been reminded of what the important things are, and what is just fluff.

It was good to be away from social media. It was healthy to shut off the outside world and limit my screentime. It was good to refocus my energies on myself.

And now I am feeling recharged and ready for the next phase.


  1. Sorry you have been down Amy, I think we've all been there and shutting it all down and refocusing sounds like just what you needed! Your husband sounds like a gem! <3 BTW, I did get your 2nd PM the other night. We had friends over and apparently Rey thought I should shut-it-down as well b/c he griped at me for checking my phone when we were spending time together! So, that's why I didn't respond. Sorry! That 2nd outfit I had planned on getting for a long time but then I changed my mind and decided to go the tutu route. I'm still uncertain, but I guess I still have 8 months to figure it out! LOL. Hang in there!!

    1. thanks for being so supportive Karen, and I can't wait to hear more about your planning for phm.

  2. You are one busy lady and I have the feeling that you share a common trait with me, finding it difficult to say no. It looks like you're on the road to wellness and I hope things are much improved. I've been where you are/were, if you ever want to chat you know where to find me. (Beth Hardy)

    1. Thank you Beth. I appreciate your kindness, and you have a deal. I will reach out if I need to talk about this more. Maybe at CON?